zen party mix

a thing i liked that i read

drinkyourjuice:

A while ago a guy with unclear intentions but incredibly good interpersonal skills was trying to convince me to like him. I couldn’t really tell you if it was friendly or romantic so much as it was a need for affirmation from someone he thought “got things,” but I do know that I doled out a lot of sarcasm over the course of four strong drinks and was left with a rolodex of really well-articulated, just-left-of-center compliments that keep floating up as time passes like air pockets from a sunken ship.

At the time I was proud of myself because I didn’t fall for “it,” whatever “it” was. I’d kept my upper hand and I’d walked away and at the end of the day I had been very adult for a 22-year-old baby in that position. My way of dealing with anxiety is denying it the right to exist. Swallowing it and burying it and ignoring it and turning it off and soldiering through whatever The Event is with the understanding that I’ll have to process things at some later time alone in my bedroom, and that’s how I handled that night.

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